9 Thoughts You Have When You Can’t Sleep

By Carlos Mejia  |  Feb 23, 2016
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You and your partner have both brushed your teeth, turned off the lights, and ruffled around to find that one perfect position — but you can’t sleep. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, your mind starts firing off random thoughts. Some good. Some bad. Some totally outrageous. Don’t lose sleep over them. Here’s how to turn off your brain and get some zzz’s:

“Sleep gods, please don’t let me [insert embarrassing habit here] while I sleep.”

You can fill that blank with snore, kick, break wind, burp, or anything you do (or you think you do) while you sleep. Don’t sweat it. If your partner is asleep already, they won’t even notice.

“When was the last time I called my mom?” 

Whether it was today, yesterday, or last week, you can never call your mom too much. Set a calendar alarm to call her first thing when you wake up so you can rid yourself of the guilt tonight. 

“I could eat an entire second dinner right now.”

It’s never too early to start planning your breakfast.

“Did I send that email?”

Picking up your phone would be like opening pandora’s box. Not to mention looking at the bright screen will feel like you’re looking straight into the sun. Everyone else is already sound asleep and not checking their email anyway. Odds are you sent it. But if you didn’t, just send it in the morning. It won’t be missed.

“I forgot to order the _____, answer the _____, check the _____…”

Remember that 35% off coupon sitting in your inbox from your favorite store? You don’t really need another pair of shoes, but hey, if you want them, they’ll still be there tomorrow. Make a mental checklist on all the things you want to do when you get to work tomorrow (with online shopping being the top priority, of course).

“Is now the right time to talk… about that thing?”

Anything worth talking about can wait until the morning when you’re actually wide awake. You’re prone to poor judgement when you’re tired, and even though your brain is spinning it’s wheels, it’s in no condition to have a full-blown conversation.

“Do they mind that my body weight is crushing their arm?”

No. They don’t. They’re sleeping.

“Who counts sheep?”

No one actually counts sheep. That’s something adults tell kids. Like the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. Instead of counting sheep, dream up your next vacation. The ocean waves will carry you straight to dreamland.

“Weird, I haven’t gotten a nightmare in a while. I must be due for one tonight.” 

It doesn’t work that way. Unless you spent your entire day binge-watching every film in the Exorcist franchise, you must likely won’t even remember when your dreams when you wake up.

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