7 Things You Can Only Do in the Middle of the Night

By Michael Martin  |  Oct 13, 2016
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Too often, being awake at 3am is associated with a bad case of insomnia and or a hangover-inducing party. But it doesn’t have to be. The middle of the night can be the best part of your day and improve your life 24/7. Here are 7 things you can only do when you can’t sleep:

  1. Talk to Insomnobot-3000

Meet your new BFF — someone who’s as inappropriately wired and awake as you are. Just text 844-823-5621 and Insomnobot-3000 will text with you about anything that’s on your mind, for as long as you want. Try to resume normal human relationships in the morning, though it might be difficult.

  1. Watch Nick at Nite and Antenna TV

The middle of the night is when the really good retro TV comes on. The stuff that those cable networks figure are too obscure for the daylight hours. Remember Naked City, Dark Shadows, The Edge of Night, and surprisingly off-color reruns of Johnny Carson’s Tonight show? And don’t forget Three’s Company, I Love Lucy, and The Brady Bunch. There’s an episode for everyone.

  1. Get lightning-fast delivery

There’s no better time to indulge your impulsive craving for pizza or (and) disco fries from your favorite 24-hour diner. Because it’s not prime time, it’ll be at your doorstep before you have time to change your mind.

  1. Buy something truly ridiculous

The internet has killed a lot of things, but the infomercial is not one of them. They still thrive in the middle of the night — in all their bright and tacky glory. Where else can you learn about a stuffed-burger maker? Or get a cleaning cloth that holds 20x its weight in liquid? You just might find something that will revolutionize your life as much as the Casper mattress. Or you’ll just eye roll yourself to sleep.

  1. Organize your sock drawer by color and frequency of use

It’s scientifically proven: People do some of the craziest things in the middle of the night. 90% of those things are related to cleaning and organization. Especially the kind you’d never think of doing during daylight hours.

  1. Gaze at the stars

If you’re lucky to live far enough away from a city, scan the night sky and see if you can find the constellations. If you get lost in a sea of 2,000 stars, try this app.

  1. Scare yourself to sleep

There’s something about watching a horror movie, catching up on Stranger Things, or reading a crime novel during daylight hours that renders them ineffective. There are tons of people around during the day that could theoretically save you when the serial killer slips in through your window. In the middle of the night, you’re fair game.


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