A New Dictionary for People Who Love Their Bed
Ever been so excited to sleep that you literally plunge into your bed? That’s called a “Bed Dive,” according to Urban Dictionary, the internet’s go-to guide for explaining strange terminology and acronyms.
Like “Bed Dive,” there are dozens of terms that sleepers use to describe situations they often find themselves in, that will be instantly familiar to anyone who is similarly obsessed with snoozing.
Sleep Catnea: Being exhausted in the morning because your cat bothered you all throughout the night.
Co-Worker: Wow, you look tired!
Me: Sleep catnea.
Bederosexual: Enjoying sleep more than sex.
Date: So, do you want to come back to my place for a nightcap?
Me: Um, I don’t think so. I’m a bederosexual.
Sleepflixing: Trying to watch Netflix even though you’re half-asleep.
Friend: What did you watch on Netflix last night?
Me: I can barely remember! I was sleepflixing again.
Playing the sleeping card: Ignoring someone’s text and then saying, “Sorry, I was asleep!”
Friend: Why didn’t you come see my improv troupe perform last night? I texted you about it.
Me: Sorry, I was sleeping!
Bedcrumbs: Spending so much time in bed there are food crumbs everywhere.
Date: Do you want me to bring a snack over for the movie?
Me: No, I think there’s still bedcrumbs in the covers.
Sleepicide: Having so much work to do before tomorrow, that you just give up and go to sleep.
Friend: How long did you stay up studying for the test?
Me: I was trying to pull an all-nighter, but I got sleepy around 10 p.m. and committed sleepicide. Now I’ll probably fail.
Sleep Denial: Not wanting to admit to being tired, even though you always are.
Friend: How can you be tired right now? We just got to the party and it’s only 8 pm!
Me: I’m not tired, I’m just resting my eyes.
Sleeper’s Remorse: Deciding to sleep in rather than go out, and then regretting it the next day (kinda).
Friend: You really should’ve come to the party last night. It would’ve been way more fun than staying in bed.
Me: Way to guilt me with Sleeper’s Remorse.
Sleep-end: Spending the whole weekend doing nothing but sleeping.
Co-Worker: What did you do this weekend?
Me: It was a sleep-end, so, nothing.
Bedbrary: Having a bed so covered in books that it resembles a library
Roommate: Wow, aren’t you going to clean up all those books off your bed?
Me: Nah, I love sleeping in a bedbrary.
via Van Winkle’s