January Sleeposcope: What Your Sign Says About Your Sleep

By Maggie Taylor  |  Jan 19, 2016
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How much do you really know about your sign? Sure, years ago you probably read that if you’re a Capricorn you should steer clear of Aries, and a Taurus could potentially be your soulmate. But did you ever consider how your sign affects your sleep?

Are you going to have a reoccurring dream about getting fired? Wake up next to an empty box of pizza? Will Mercury ruin all chances of finding a good night’s sleep this month?

Here’s how your zodiac sign influences your sleep:

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Slow down on the coffee, Capricorn — it’s only January. Although you may be feeling overly-eager for all of the projects that you have planned for 2016, remember to live in the present. Try to refrain from setting your alarm for 7:15am on a Saturday, and snooze the day away. Time well slept is ALWAYS time well spent, so no need to fear some extra hours of zzz’s.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

Aquarians are forward-thinkers and constantly on the go. Out of every sign, they require the most sleep. Make sure you relax, meditate, and find your center before bed. Go to a PM yoga class. You won’t regret it. And when you finally get under the covers, pick up a book and put down the phone.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

You may find yourself in a sleep-existential crisis this month. If you’re up late at night questioning the meaning of everything, keep a journal by your bed to record your deepest ponderings. If the marimba alarm rings in a bedroom and no one wakes up to hear it, does it make a sound?” “Why do I keep having recurring dreams about bacon?” “Why do people count sheep, why not lions?” Don’t lose sleep on it though. You’ll wake up refreshed with an even better perspective.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

 Host a party, Aries. (A slumber party, of course.) Although you have been dying to plan a boozy brunch, consider something a little more low key, like a TV marathon. Hello, the perfect opportunity to finally watch Narcos. Plus, you can still a few drinks. It just won’t be bottomless mimosas that start when the sun rises and finish when the sun sets.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

It’s not insomnia, Taurus, it’s Netflix. While you might say that you watch Netflix because you can’t sleep, consider that you can’t sleep because you are watching Netflix. Try trading in screen time for sleep time by limiting yourself to one episode a night (okay, fine, maybe two).

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Go on a vacation, Gemini. Although stay-cationing on the weekend in your bed can be relaxing, use the cold weather as an excuse to plan a real vacation. We hear JetBlue is having a sale (when are they not having a sale?), so book a flight, find a friend in a warmer city, and soak up the sun — and more importantly — some zzz’s.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Are you feeling reminiscent for the naps of your childhood, Cancer? Do you find yourself feeling extra tired at work this month? Find a conference room, pregame your nap with a cup of coffee, close your eyes for 20 minutes, and you’ll wake up feeling like you can conquer your inbox. Just don’t forget to set your alarm — or you might get fired.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Get creative this month, Leo. Write your own song (a lullaby, of course), or even test out your DJ skills by remixing a classic. Just be careful to not get too carried away. While you might have finally perfected the drop for “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” refrain from blasting your masterpiece past bedtime. Your neighbors will appreciate it.

Virgo (August 23 – September 23)

You need more than three hours of sleep per night, Virgo! Renowned for overthinking before going to bed, you find ways to function with a stringent sleep schedule. Instead of thinking about that email you forgot to send, let your mind drift to off to your last vacation. The thought of the waves hitting the shore will get you sleeping earlier in no time.

Libra (September 24 – October 23)

You are the epitome of balance, Libra. Do not limit yourself to savory or sweet for breakfast this month. Make a BEC sandwich. But replace the bagel with waffles. We promise, you won’t regret it. And of course, don’t forget to snap a few pics of your creation. You have to Instagram it, of course. It has the potential to outdo any other photo you post this month. You might even be able to get away with no filter #FoodPorn.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Give up your need to control, Scorpio. We know that the fact that your significant other leaves toothpaste in the sink might get under your skin, but pick your battles. After all, he doesn’t nag you for your snoring.

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

It might be winter, but that does not mean that you should limit yourself to staying inside. Your couch has seen enough of you this month. Take a camping trip, and spend your night sleeping under the stars. Make a list before you embark to ensure that you remember all of the essentials. Sleeping bag? check. Hand warmers? Check. Fuzzy socks? Check. Portable space heater? CHECK.

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