Seven attention seeking, trash talking, tequila shot taking twenty-somethings take on Chicago on the 30th season of The Real World. That much you know. But most viewers don’t realize that Casper is the real star the show. This season, the cast will be passing out, waking up, and making out on Caspers. And each week, we’ll bring you the recap you can’t find anywhere else on the Internet: everything that happens . . . in bed.
The newest skeleton arrives at the Real World house, and it’s Bruno’s brother. Lucky for us, their 3-year fight over a can of tuna ends within the first 3 minutes of the show. Seems like they lost a lot of sleep over nothing.
Bruno’s brother takes his glamorous suitcase, and claims a bed upstairs. Wow, that mattress couldn’t possibly have more stuff on it. How can anyone sleep like that?
Bruno gives him a tour of the bedroom: “This is the mattress they threw in for Tony’s ex-girlfriend.” Tony recaps all of the drama that went on in bed when his two ex-girlfriends slept in the house.
When everyone leaves the bedroom, Bruno is caught putting stuffed animals on top of the covers. He whispers to himself “yeah, so cute.” More like, so weird.
The rest of The Real World cast is talking about Bruno’s temper. He’s gotten into way too many pillow fights this season. The camera cuts to Bruno kicking something under his bed. Bruno, just get on top of your bed and sleep it off.
With all the new guests in the house, everyone is worried about it getting too packed. “There’s not going to be enough bathrooms in this house!” Who cares? There will always be enough Caspers.
Everyone takes Bruno’s brother out on the town, while Bruno stays in bed with his girlfriend. Normally we’d be excited, but rule #528: brothers over beds.
Tony’s brother comes to visit, too. Tony brings him up to his girlfriend’s bedroom. He immediately comments: “You sleep in here or she sleeps in there?” Tony defensively says it’s Madison who sleeps with him. By the way, did you see her naked mattress? It really looks like she hasn’t slept there in days.
Fast forward to everyone out of bed and out on the town. Bruno got in a fight and stormed off into the city. Bruno’s brother and Violetta finally find him — after a quick detour to Starbucks. We get it — coffee is important. When Bruno won’t talk to them, Violetta offers him her cake pop. Maybe she should have grabbed the blueberry muffin, too.
When Bruno gets back to the house, he throws a tantrum, runs up to a bedroom, and slams the door. Jason comes upstairs with The Real World security. When that doesn’t work, Violetta knocks on the door with her cake pop. Seriously, offer him more than one Starbucks pastry. Maybe even throw in a breakfast sandwich.
The Real World girls sit in bed talking about Bruno’s outbursts and decide they’re never talking to him again. Let’s see how many nights that lasts.
At the end of the episode, the two visiting skeletons get in bed together — Bruno’s brother AND Tony’s brother. We spot a lot of movement under those covers. Sadly, the next day they both get out of bed, pack up their stuff, and go back to their respective mattresses at home.
Sneak peek: A new Casper comes straight through the doors and onto a bed frame. Who’s the next guest sleeper? Stay tuned.