Single people, you’re doing Valentine’s day all wrong…

By Lottie Coltman  |  Feb 2, 2018
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Look, we know it is annoying when internet articles tell you that you are doing everything wrong. Tying your shoelace? You’re doing it wrong. Cutting an avocado? You’re doing it wrong. Breathing? Well, you’re probably doing that wrong too.

But… not to be hypocritical here… if you are single and planning on doing anything other than the activities described below this February 14th, then yeah, you are blatantly doing it wrong.

Stick with us and you’re about to have the best Valentine’s day ever.

  1. Stay off social media. 

    Look, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat can all be a fun place to while away the time – primarily looking at videos of cute dogs if you’re anything like us – but they are also a hotbed of smug behaviour. And guess what? On Valentine’s day things gets kicked into high gear – with unbearable couples who lack a sense of digital boundaries PDAing all over the place. So, if you don’t want a feed full of photos of Michael Kors handbags and petrol station flowers, do yourself a favour and switch off.

  2. Retreat to your safe space. 

    Unfortunately, lovesick couples aren’t constrained to the digital sphere (which is a shame because then we could just delete them from our phones and be done with them), which means you need to do your best to avoid them in real life as well. You might have to suffer through Debra’s unbearable bragging about her romantic plans at Nando’s during working hours but when you get home you have a choice – and guess where the most comfortable safe space is? That’s right, your bed.

  3. Pack supplies. 

    If you’re going to be camped out in your bed until all the lovey-doveiness is done, well, you’re going to need a fully stocked bedroom pantry. The good thing about being single? There is no need for romantic pretences. Swap cold slimy parasite-ridden oysters for a bucket of fried chicken – because if there is nobody to see you eat it, there can be no shame.

  4. Pick your favourite one person activity (ahem). 

    Just because you’re heading to bed early doesn’t mean you’re giving up on a fun Valentine’s evening. But guess what? You get to choose what YOU want to do. Have a thing for cringy TV soaps? Knock yourself out! Enjoy knitting onesies for your cat? Get started with a fresh look for Tiddles! Basically, you do you. Ah, the joys of being single…

  5. Spread out. 

    The final and ultimate bonus to being single – more space to spread. Your bed is your kingdom and you don’t have to give away a single inch of it if you don’t want to (well, unless you have a rogue child or pet that wants in – but they’re normally small so, don’t worry). Make the most of your celebrations of singleness and starfish your way through the night.

Of course, if you REALLY want to have the best Valentine’s day ever you’ll do all of this on a Casper. And the good news? We have a little V*day present for you – 14% off all Casper products. Just use the code VALENTINE14 at checkout (we won’t even mind that you didn’t get us anything…).

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